problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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