Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You pole danced in your parka.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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