no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm always down for nudity.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
