how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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