Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
