When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
