Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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