Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
