don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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