she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
