either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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