pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
