Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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