No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
