PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
