i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
well, you know. whores of a feather.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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