Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
