HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
