I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
