His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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