Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I need to calm my uterus...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
