I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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