You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
