i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
