I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I AM VODKA MAN
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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