she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
