Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My liver is preforming stress tests.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
