Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
