Yo dont text me then not text me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
