Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
