Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
