The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
