Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
