i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
