Whod you bang
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
