Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
