when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
