my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
