my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
