Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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