He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
