there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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