I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
