I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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