operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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