I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
