Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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