garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
