No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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