i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
