Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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