i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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